In typical Target fashion, they have a charming commercial out called "Clap Your Hands". Is is full of little babies doing all their adorable little baby things. And even though I have a beautiful, healthy, vibrant daughter that the commercial speaks of, without hesitation, my mind sinks into the loss of that experience with Kenan. It aired again last night and I made a conscious choice to think about Tamsen instead. But conscious choice doesn't transform emotions. I am sad. I am profoundly sad. As I listen to, read about and study the woman who have walked this path before me, I understand that this sadness will be with me for the rest of my life. I will be sad for the rest of my life.